This Carers Week, we spoke to carers with experience of looking after a loved one with addiction.
Peter shares his experience to help others. His son Stephen was just 41 when he died nearly three years ago.
Stephen had been battling with addiction for a long time.
When he was 16, he had leukaemia and was put on a morphine drip. This helped with the pain of the treatment but, without realising it at the time, it also brought calmness to his thoughts.
Peter said: “We now believe this was to do with his undiagnosed neurodivergence.”
Other drugs followed as he got older.
Peter said: “We knew there was something else going on other than his addiction. Stephen was diagnosed with autism aged 38 which explained a lot of things.
“My wife and I cared for Stephen day-to-day. His situation was desperate and we were willing to support him for years.”
The family went through numerous services trying to get Stephen the help he needed.
Stephen was on methadone for 20 years.
“His biggest fear was not getting his script,” Peter explained. “He’d take his methadone and then go out and use drugs anyway.
“When a person is in addiction, they’re on their knees. They’re struggling every day. People don’t use drugs because it’s fun; they’re doing it because there are other issues.
“There is a stigma around addiction. People have so many doors closed to them and then they just give up.”
Peter and his wife had support from North Tyneside Carers’ Centre and Autism In Mind (AIM). They also did a course with Props, a specialist family drug and alcohol service.
Since Stephen’s death, Peter has helped set up an autism help group.
He said: “I had two options; I could get angry or I could try to make positive change. I don’t want other families to go through what we’ve been through.”
His advice for any carer going through something similar is to fight.
“Push for an assessment in mental health or neurodiversity. Look at why someone is needing to self-medicate. Ask questions, ask why something has or hasn’t happened.”
He believes the key to supporting families and carers is communication.
“We need to feel spoken to and included. Support needs to be holistic and consistent; don’t keep changing workers. We need someone with a caring and understanding attitude who we know will be there.”